"Stop being sad/ Don't be sad".
We often hear these words when we are in bad situation where we feel like the whole world trying to break us into pieces. Feeling like the earth trying to bend you to see how far you can bend before you break.
Let me tell you something.
Whenever my heart is wrenching, breaking and my confidence is shaking, I let it be. I'm having hard time believing myself as a good person. I don't feel fit in my own skin. My 'crying to sleep at night' are countless, sometimes it's simply because of a silly thing, but those small things effect me because I'm so fragile. Having people just left me countless time because I'm too difficult they said. Having friends distance themselves from me because I'm constantly breaking in the middle of something which ruined their day. Is not easy being depress, you constantly trying to have a shoulder for you to lean on but at the same time you push the person away because you feel like being the anchor in their life and that is what makes you ashamed of being depress. It's not easy either to pretend to smile and laugh because in result you become so silent at one point which makes people questions if they did something wrong. I could just cry only by seeing people ignore me when I feel in need to talk to them as I see like I'm never matter in anyone's life.
If you ever feel like being sad and crying yourself into sleep is a bad thing, then you're wrong.
No, once in awhile, you need to let the sad feeling loose and get it to you. It's a normal phase that everyone need to go through.
Being sad doesn't always give you the bad impact s on your life.
Being sad makes you learn to be a better person, precisely; protective person, which makes you love yourself more after the phase. You learn how to control and take care yourself better because now you know the things that make you hurts and you learn how to tolerate with it.
God doesn't create sad feeling for nothing. Without hurting you won't know what you should know. Being sad make your feet touch the ground again and easily grateful for what you have in the meantime.
Being sad make you closer to God. Ever curls in the bed and wondering why do your life turn to be this way and questioned God destiny? Believe me that do not result as you don't believe in God's power and His plan but it's a step that you still believe in God and know that He's still listening and that's why you still talking to him. Don't take everything as negative, believe that everything happens for a reason and be grateful that you still talking to Him and remember that He's still listening. Knows that God don't just come down and talk to you in person but He will bring you to someone to make you closer to the happiness path.
If your heart is breaking and you try to make yourself busy then you wouldn't have time to sit and think what did go wrong, what mistakes that you did and so on. How are you going to have a better future if you don't learn from mistakes and will repeat the same mistakes over and over? Doesn't matter who do you wrong, what's important that after you know yourself better, you know your limits and how to make sure that you're treated the way you want to be.
Time after time, I start to awake from my darkness and light my own fire to my own path. I roar when obstacle trying to drag me back down again and by meaning obstacle is that the people who couldn't just sit tight and let my wings grow to be ready to spread and fly. I'm not scared anymore because I've been depressed for so long, questioning what did goes wrong. I realize that people have been mistreated me and my mistake that I waited long enough to speak my heart out.
To the depress people out there, there is still a chance. You just need to put trust on something that really reliable and dependable, mine is always my God. I'm done putting my trust on human who speaks more than their action. I stopped having high hopes on human but put higher hopes to God. Even I'm so much sinful as what the 'righteous people' said, but I believe God doesn't just made me like this just to leave me in despair. I believe He made this rough path as I go and experience it and will serve me to the beautiful at the end. And of course, these are only my 2 cents advice. Peace <3 p="">
